Bipolar Is:

Erik Blackwell
3 min readSep 24, 2023
By Author via DALL-E
By Author via DALL-E

Sometimes, bipolar is not being able to sleep because I’m too excited about something. Recently, that something was camping. Getting outdoors is soul nourishing, and I don’t do enough of it. To be fair, we lived off grid for a year in tiny cabins with five kids, and that cured me of camping for a long while. But…that long while has passed.

I toss and turn thinking about all the new gear I want to buy. No — that’s not right — need to buy. I’ll need a hex pop-up tent, a camp kitchen, a new solar shower, a screened shelter to avoid the bugs, and probably a lot more shit too.

Where should we go? What new sights to see? Do I need a canopy for the truck? Probably. We have a million places to go locally, but it’s overrun on the weekends. Could my love take time off midweek? What about the cats? What about the dogs? They’re chihuahuas, and campers they are not. We’re going to be tied to the house forever….

If we make the investment in all this new gear, will we use it regularly, or will it become more shed-filler? Will my wife enjoy it? (she’s kind of an indoor girl.) Maybe we should go camping with what we’ve got. Test it out and make sure it’s something we’ll enjoy. No, fuck that. We need newer, cooler shit. That’s half the fun. Plus, better gear might come in pretty handy when the nuclear apocalypse hits. You just never know when you might have to abandon the house and take…

--

--

Erik Blackwell
Erik Blackwell

Written by Erik Blackwell

I write mostly about my experience with bipolar disorder, and my hope is that it helps someone. You’re in good company, and you are not alone.