A Manic Depressive’s Dream
With a Nightmare Chaser
If only I could stay in a hypomanic state for all of my days. God, what a life that would be. Bursting at the seams with creativity, full of grand ideas and new understandings, with boundless energy and enthusiasm for whatever I’m doing, or for whatever I’m about to start. When I’m hypomanic, the world is my oyster, and there is nothing I can’t do. There is nothing that I can’t figure out. Old fears just fall away.
It’s Me v2.0 with major upgrades over my regular v1.0 state. Every time I get there, I think that this is the new me. This is who I really am. The old me was laboring under delusions that held me back, held me in place. Now that I can see everything; now that I understand the workings of the world around me and the people in it, there’s no way I can even go back to v1.0, even if I wanted to. I know too much now.
I start new books, new drawings, compose new songs, and I have a better way of doing most everything. I clean, organize, and rearrange. I don’t need much sleep or food. My normally introverted self is gone. I want to talk to people now. I want to understand them on a deeper level, find out what makes them tick, and what makes them interesting. While I’m at it, I’ll dazzle them with my brilliance, humor, and insight.
